failure..is not an option.

HAPPY RAYA :)

Selamat Hari Raya to all.

Sorry body and soul.

Nothing much this raya. Holiday is too SIKIT.

Who’s with me?

20 THINGS (you should know) ABOUT ME

mwahahahahahaaa

(Sempena im turning into this big two-zero. Oh tua kay)

Well. Literally. Hehe.

1. Im ALREADY 20 omg!!

2. I still have the same height like when i was 19.

3. I cant live without my family.

4. And also without my cousins, aunties and uncles.

5. I will cry without my friends. (girl/best/close)

6. I detest people who stares. I frikkin hate it!!!

7. J’ai horreur les animaux! I dont like haiwan that much.

8. But, OH, I love cows (black n white) theyre sooooo cute. Favourite! hehe

9. I have a very very dark secret. Which i almost tell Syazerq, Anat and Pis but i couldn’t make it.

10. Im allergic to drops of rain.

11. Im dumb (very) when crossing the road.

12. I accomplished my ‘bealoneuntiltwenty’ mission. Cool kan?

13. Im still confused about my future until today. Im not kidding.

14. I am not really a big fan of motorcycle i even menjerit ketika sdg menaikinya.

15. I really like good music and good FOOD.

16. I cant stand people with body odours. Annoying lah.

17. I dont like people who doesnt keep their pride. Or tries to ruin mine.

18. I always wanted a Mini Cooper.

19. My favourite all-time drink is mineral water

20. I am still waiting..very patiently.

Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. And do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering (Ida Scott Taylor). I have been living in this world for 20 years and God, how fast time flies. It seems like it was just yesterday when i was so small drinking milk in a bottle and do nothing else except crying over for some candies and ice creams. Haha it’s funny when ure scared to grow up. Im not afraid or anything but it comes to think of it, that i might be doing so many things during my twenties. What i mean is that i’ll be graduating during this time (InsyaAllah), i’ll earn my first working money (if i’ll ever get a job), and even scarier, i might be getting married around this region!! ( IF IF IF ill ever find my soulmate). Hahaha. Scary isnt it? This year, i think i didnt get everything i wanted and everything i wished for. But in a way, i think it’s good because i might lost even more if i keep on getting what i hoped for. I am very grateful for everything that i have. Alhamdulillah.

Here is a piece of my after-tarawikh celebration id just like to share

Sweet 20 :)

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY AISHAH. Its time to grow up. Budak kecik no more

Happy Ramadhan people. XOXO.

010908

The holy month of September is here :))

Weeeeeeeehooooooooooooooooo!

HEHEE happy birthday Aber. SEPTEMBER PEOPLE RAWKSSSS!!!

And oh. Happy fasting to all Muslims. Semoga mendapat barakah di bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ini.

XOXO

August 10, 2008. I became a driver. My mom’s driver. Ha-ha my dad wasn’t around and since I already got my P a few months back, who else is gonna be driving her to tkc if not me. Biasalah, anak mithali. HAHAHA. I spent my semester break taking driving lessons with pacik and yeah everyone was like ‘woi pudds P aku dah nak habis kau baru nak g belajar ke!’. Oh wth. It is better late than NEVER kann I don’t drive that much after I got my license and to be exact, I only drove once je. (tu pun pergi jusco tengok midnight movie dengan miok) Hehehhee. I know I have to get used to it but I don’t have time. Just as I passed my JPJ test the other day, I have to be back in ukm to start my new semester being a 2^nd year student. So there’s not much time at home to ronggeng here and there with my dad’s car. Hey it’s a good thing I passed my JPJ test tu okay. Hehe. Today’s matter is different cause I have no other choice and I have to drive my mom to tkc whether I want it or not. When I was about to start the engine of the car, my sister called my mom. She wanted some drinks, biscuits and kfc for dinner. Then my mom was like jom kita pergi jusco dulu. Hish it’s Sunday and there’ll be loads and loads of car. And if u could get a parking there at that time, u’ll definitely be like the luckiest person on earth! I feel like killing my sister tapi takpelah. I know im smart. (HAHAHAHA tiba2 je) And so I went there and I managed to get a parking space as soon as I enter jusco. Yeah, I was overjoyed by the so-called feeling of luckiest-person-ever. After that we went to tkc and thank God visitors tak lah ramai nak mampus tu. We had lunch together, read Sunday newspapers, listen to Modern Minimalis Glamour and that’s it. My mom and I left my sister to study. PMR PMR!! Ha-ha. Been there done that. Alhamdulillah I reached home safely and u cant really imagine my mom’s face all the way from home – jusco – tkc – home. She was worried all the way during the journée! Hehehe macam2. Btw its just my 2nd time driving on the road and that was only the beginning. ;p I’ll be zooming a lot more just to practise on my driving skills before I cud actually buy myself a Mini Cooper in, emm let me see….how many years time ntah! HAHAAHA DREAM ON. Cheers.

WOW. My last post was posted on March 2008 and i just realised that i didnt update my blog since then. Wah sungguh lama. I dont have much time since 2nd year already started. Plus, Za’ba’s wireless connection can only be detected at the cafe. Like im so NOT-lazy to go there just to check my emails and what not. Haih. Dah la im staying on the 3rd floor right now. Frikkin tinggi okay! Ill get back to my blog once i have the chance to update it. Well right now, im in this filthy cold IT lab in my faculty. The person beside me is listening to this thing, like some kind of a political forum or maybe ceramah..or maybe the Debat Perdana coz i think i could hear Anwar’s voice and also words like ‘kenaikan harga minyak di negara kita..bla bla blaa!!’. HAHA im not eavesdropping but hes putting it too loud. Highest volume maybe. Hoh biarlah. Im just spending a few minutes here to check on my mails and friendster and facebook and myspace and all that jazz (CHUP i think ive already spent for almost an hour here). And yea,i havent perform my Zuhur prayer yet. ya Allah apa nak jadi. Ish ish ish. Ngee. Thats it then. Im out. Lets just hope that my ‘FAILURE…IS NOT AN OPTION’ blog is not dead. Or i could just switch to blogspot or wordpress or wutever lah whenever this thing isnt working anymore nanti. Hahaha. Ciao

Anat : Pudds, everyday i pray to God to bubblewrap my heart to not make me fall in <3 with someone other than my soulmate.

Pudds : Amin.

Anat : I guess the prayer worked.

Pudds : It worked? I know it’s going to be hard. So i guess i’ll just have to keep on praying so that i will not fall in <3 with someone other than my soulmate too. Amin.

The rest of ur life is a long time. And whether u know it or not, it is being shaped right now. U can choose to blame ur circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices. Or u can fight back. Things aren’t always going to be fair on the real world. That’s just the way it is. But for the most part, u get what u give.

For the past few weeks, (yea weeks.im a busy person) ive been reading this novel called My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult recommended by anat and pcha. Well it’s a good book and the ending was tragic. I can never imagine myself having a life like Anna, what more like Kate. And yea I learned my lesson; the way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. And it comes to think of it that sometimes, u don’t love someone because theyre perfect. U love them in spite of the fact that theyre not. Ha-ha im being sentimental.

Enough of Jodi Picoult. Ive been browsing thru my old albums from 01 to 05. All the things uve been thru in college are the things u can never change. I don’t know whether our juniors (now) still keep their pride. U know, keep pride as in, PRIDE. Ishh. Its embarrassing to know if theyre not because then, we will be just the same like them. (yeah THEM u-know-who ;p) Lol. My sister is in form 3 and I asked her a lot on what the seniors have actually taught them. I mean, oh come on. Just look at their accounts on fs n ms. (its not that u really want to view their page or wut but they add u as their friends.so what do u expect)  Okay back to the accounts. It’s not wrong for u to have or/and show off ur bfs by uploading their photos cause afterall, it’s ur account n u can do wutever u want. But stop taking nonsense pictures of urself wearing other people’s skool shirt, badge, or wutever. Especially when ure in an all-girls skool n ure wearing stuffs from an all-boys skool. Yea now it’s extremely obvious doesn’t it. And when people commented on those pics, not all of them are pleasant. So, sangatlah malu okay. I don’t know whether u people are being supportive to their skool or wut. But hey, org lain pun ade bf lah. Well the main point is not about that. It’s about keeping pride. Keeping pride isn’t the same thing about being egoistic or wut not. It’s just the standard way of living life. Stop being a cheap-ie. Juniors, oh juniors. We’ve been there. So trust us. We like/adore/admire a whole lot of people during our time too, tp pandai2 laa. (seniors dulu bnyak ajar kami jadi drama queen.BAHAHAA) Temoh, take note, semua flutist orchest yg smart kau je yg booking from 2002 smpai 2005!!! Ha-ha. We’re not being hypocrites, it’s just the way it is. Control urself. Once ure a pureblood, I bet u will be exposed to ‘our’ ways to mingle around. So, whats the rush. Chill lah. Eventually, I know they will learn to live with it. That is why good traditions and unwritten rules in tkc shouldn’t be abolished. Learn by heart okay. Stand tall, keep PRIDE, have faith.

Happy Chinese New Year to all. Have a joyous holiday

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. These lines which is written by a medical doctor, caught my eye while i was reading a magazine last night. Life gets unexpected from time to time. During my semester break this december, i practically spent most of my times with my relatives more than my friends. Abang’s wedding was on the 1st of december in Tawau, Sabah and that includes THE family right. What more after that was abang’s kenduri in Seremban on the 16th of december. This is just a good time for a great great family gathering as everyone will come to the wedding and some might give a helping hand just for the wedding preparation and what not. I had my own time with my great bunch of cousins and everybody else as well. Dulu sama-sama main rounders, skarang abang dah kawin! And after the wedding was settled, everyone was very happy because it went well like all were planned. Hardworks and commitments play a very big role in this kind of situation. And for the moment, i am very happy. WE are very happy (as happy as abang when he received a sony psp from a friend for his wedding gift). I’m fortunately happy for having such great crowds of family members. Sometimes, u could just forget when was the last time u ever feel very thankful to have such good company around u. Time flies. Things change. For better or WORST. I dont know if this is the time that God chose to test me. For the moment, or even for the past 19 years i lived, i am happy to have YOU in my life. I can never believe YOU would do something like that. I dont want anybody else to know because i dont want them to look at YOU badly. I dont know if this is REAL or not. What actually happened to YOU. Im confused. And im afraid to confront with YOU face to face. Cause this is big. I dont hate YOU for that but i wanna know why. PLEASE. Why are YOU doing this. And why i am the one to know? Ya Allah if only i can turn back time, i would have take it back. But for second thoughts, if i take it back..i will NEVER know what did YOU do. So stop. I dont want to hate YOU. I was born to love YOU with all my heart. But dont stop me for doing that. Please. Im just too embarrass to talk to anyone about this (even my best friends) . Its humiliating. Thats why i just write what i want in my blog. With the feeling that anyone wudnt have time to read it. And if they do read, they just dont care. Huh. YOU screw my happiness! YOU are the reason ive been so scared. YOU are just the same typical species of yours. I always thought YOU are different. Now YOU changed my perceptions towards YOU. I will never call or describe YOU with bad words cause i know YOU are still the same old person who cares for me and YOU’d do anything for me, yes i know YOU will. And i hope that doesnt change.

"Apabila kau letih dan hilang semangat, Allah tahu betapa kau telah mencuba sedaya upayamu. Apabila tangisanmu berpanjangan dan hatimu kedukaan, Allah telah mengira titisan air matamu. Apabila kau rasa ketinggalan dan masa meninggalkanmu, Allah setia di sisimu. Apabila kau telah mencuba segalanya tetapi tidak tahu tujuan, Allah ada jalan penyelesaiannya. Apabila tidak ada yang bererti buatmu keliru dan kecewa, Allah ada jawapannya. Percayalah, Allah maha pengasih dan penyayang. Carilah Dia yang maha mendengar."

sometimes when we are TOO depressed, we just cry like we dont care. it’s tiring. and we get a pair of swollen eyes.

Growing old is mandatory, and growing up isn’t always easy. This year, I celebrated my birthday during the fasting month of Ramadhan. Hope it brings more barakah :). There are so many decisions to make at this time in your life and so many changes with family and friends. People treat you like a child in some ways, but expect you to act like an adult in others. And to overcome all of the pressures that keep on coming in, you need your friends.

I feel very grateful to have wonderful friends around me. Thank you all for the birthday wishes, whether you remember it by heart, or you set it in your phone reminder or whether Friendster’s birthday reminders told you so. Hehe. I had a great time with Syazerq, Anat, Miok and Jett at Dominos and we ate like monsters! Hahahaha. Just before that, we met Pcha there and thot of inviting her to join us but she came there with her parents. So we hugged, snapped some pics and then bye bye. We continued melantak-ing until it was almost 8 then we rushed to perform our solah. After Isyak, Jett went back to UM with her UM friends, Anat went back by taxi. Alone (OMG x prcaye gell!). And Miok and Syazerq followed me to UKM. Big YEAY. So im not alone. But if they weren’t following pun, I still have my matric friend who’ll be going back to UKM as well. I might just go back with him kot. To Anat, merci beaucoup pour the birthday present. Increases my the-thing-you-know-what collection. (Alaa the thing which comes together with the top!!! BAAHAHAA). And to Syazerq, Mr.Sponge has been keeping its eyes on me every single time I study/sleep/etc. Thanxo mucho babe. Oh not forgetting Pey, thank you very much for the choc and cookies. Sgt sedap. It was very nice of you to come the other night. (Padahal xdela jauh sgt pun kan!!! Hehehe). Oh btw, I didn’t get to distribute my birthday cake to everyone as we’re fasting during the day kan. But anyway, thanks to you Abg Jai for the black forest cake you got me from Starbucks and to Kak Dee for the oreo cheese you got me from Secret Recipe. Penat ku menghabiskannya! Gagagaa

Growing up isn’t THAT bad. No matter what happens, the trick is to just be yourself. Because the hardest thing in the world is to be something you’re not. But afterall, life isn’t about if you have lots of friends or if you’re alone. And it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn’t about that. But it’s about who you love and who you hurt; and it’s about how you feel about yourself – what you say or what you mean. So, appreciate life while you still can. You’ll still find something that you treasure along the way. Selamat Berpuasa everyone

Avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, building confidence.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUDDS. SWEET 19.