A Whole New World.
i dont really know if it’s really right.ive been telling myself to stay calm and focus.it has been almost a week.now i know i will never want to be a 2nd intaker again.it’s real hard yknow.when u have to get used to everything slow mow-ly while every other people zooms like a bullet train.but i am grateful somehow.no im not regretting anything here.it’s just that i dont feel good.i cried,like every night.because im confused.i dont know whether im making the right decision or not.im talking about my future here.im all confused.plus ukm is so damn big i cant get to see my friends without any transport.i didnt even get to see ieda,nods,nisa and zille yet.except for chupex.yea thats because we’re staying in the same college.thank God i have her.(GO ZA’BA!hahaaha).but i dont care about that.all that matter is the feeling when i go to each classes i attended.it’s different when u usually go to lectures and learn how to understand the algebraic concept + calculus thingy,memorise all physics formulas and to understand the chemical reactions of solutions formed..but now u DONT.i know afterall,this kind of line is all i ever wanted.but i dont think im ready.to tell the truth..im worried.the biggest reason is,the PEOPLE there.i mean,in my faculty.it’s hard to find a science matric student because most of them are stpm students and from asasi law uitm.so they have basics and kinda know everything.(not everything,but during lectures they already know what those people are teaching!).yalaaa what do they expect?i didnt learn all that during my matrix time ok.so i was worried.and scared.and started thinking unbeneficial things.it leads me to calling my mom at night.and sometimes,cried before i go to sleep.it’s weird because i was never like this.yea,NEVER.my roomate usually sleeps at 9.30-10.00 pm.and after that,i live with my music.i kinda dont have anyone to talk to and then i started meng-emo2 kan diri.thats the part when pressure comes.and thats where small things suddenly become real big and all that.but thanks to my 6288 i can still call or at least send an at-least-3-pages text message telling people how miserable my life at that moment.so,xdelah jiwa kacau sangat when u get to share your problems with anyone kan.thanks friends.u know who u are.im so tensed up.hahHHHhHhh!my mom tell me not to be susah hati and all that.but i cant stop it.i just dont know why!and it’s all about my new learning subjects.it’s like,kau seorang berperang berhadapan beramai ramai org.not berperang,but they dont know what my situation is.all the said was ‘laa dulu mtrix ke,kitorg stpm..ni adik laa ni’,'haa?dulu pure science?btul ke nk tuka?’,'oo dulu awk mmg xde blaja subject ni kan??’.hahh.putting on my nerves.but whatever.i know im going to be okay nanti.insyaAllah.i hope i WILL.i will just have to be strong.and believe in Allah.i always remind myself to have faith and think that Allah is always there.it makes me breathe eventho sometimes it doesnt really works.so at this moment,my head is full of i-dont-know-what.oh and everyone knows how cacat my taste towards guy kan?syazerq?nayd?anat?peeps?nayd laa especially.always condemned me for liking weird people.weird as in,i told u hes cute but in my definition of cute!cacat.bajet nerd.gila.type of guy kan.but now even worse.i like someone else’s bf.hahh then anat said liking someone else’s bf is a n0-no (but syazerq said the other way woi!haha).ala no worries.i know my limits.ill never do stupid things insyaAllah.jaga pride tu penting!!!!!yea wutever.now ive to be on track and settle down things.do pray for me aite friends.only the tough will survive.and i know,i am, THE TOUGH.gagaga.toodles.
