failure..is not an option.

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. These lines which is written by a medical doctor, caught my eye while i was reading a magazine last night. Life gets unexpected from time to time. During my semester break this december, i practically spent most of my times with my relatives more than my friends. Abang’s wedding was on the 1st of december in Tawau, Sabah and that includes THE family right. What more after that was abang’s kenduri in Seremban on the 16th of december. This is just a good time for a great great family gathering as everyone will come to the wedding and some might give a helping hand just for the wedding preparation and what not. I had my own time with my great bunch of cousins and everybody else as well. Dulu sama-sama main rounders, skarang abang dah kawin! And after the wedding was settled, everyone was very happy because it went well like all were planned. Hardworks and commitments play a very big role in this kind of situation. And for the moment, i am very happy. WE are very happy (as happy as abang when he received a sony psp from a friend for his wedding gift). I’m fortunately happy for having such great crowds of family members. Sometimes, u could just forget when was the last time u ever feel very thankful to have such good company around u. Time flies. Things change. For better or WORST. I dont know if this is the time that God chose to test me. For the moment, or even for the past 19 years i lived, i am happy to have YOU in my life. I can never believe YOU would do something like that. I dont want anybody else to know because i dont want them to look at YOU badly. I dont know if this is REAL or not. What actually happened to YOU. Im confused. And im afraid to confront with YOU face to face. Cause this is big. I dont hate YOU for that but i wanna know why. PLEASE. Why are YOU doing this. And why i am the one to know? Ya Allah if only i can turn back time, i would have take it back. But for second thoughts, if i take it back..i will NEVER know what did YOU do. So stop. I dont want to hate YOU. I was born to love YOU with all my heart. But dont stop me for doing that. Please. Im just too embarrass to talk to anyone about this (even my best friends) . Its humiliating. Thats why i just write what i want in my blog. With the feeling that anyone wudnt have time to read it. And if they do read, they just dont care. Huh. YOU screw my happiness! YOU are the reason ive been so scared. YOU are just the same typical species of yours. I always thought YOU are different. Now YOU changed my perceptions towards YOU. I will never call or describe YOU with bad words cause i know YOU are still the same old person who cares for me and YOU’d do anything for me, yes i know YOU will. And i hope that doesnt change.